brave in the cold

It couldn't be more perfect.

Nancy got flowers at the principal's office where she worked as an aid. She didn't really think she did much there other than take phone calls and direct students to the right places. Well, she did grade papers but nothing big. Nothing unnerving. It was a sweet little world to be in, and everyone treated her so kind because her husband was the art teacher. Everyone loved her there.

Of course, Geoff made her nausea how everyone went on and on about them. It must be so wonderful. She guessed it was. Even if they had a complete different scenerio in their head than what it was really about.

No one knew about Dayton. Well, not at school. Honestly, he did a lot with the baby. He seldom bothered her. Sometimes, she had to wonder if he was actually there. OK, at night. Yeah, he was there for Geoff. Always. Behind closed doors. She was the outsider. She was.

And it made her so malancholy. She wasn't sure what to do with herself. Trapped, she supposed. But then again, where would she be without them? Naturally, she had to fake a smile, but someone needed to know the truth. She hated keeping all this inside her. It was annoying, worse than a dull headache, sometimes.

"Well, sometimes, I feel bad about everything." Nancy found herself crying when Chuck came by to leave something that someone else had given him. A heart shaped cheese cake. She just looked at it. So this is the way it was. Passed off gifts from someone else. Nothing special for her. Even if she supposed the pink roses were at work.

"You just have to keep thinking positive." Chuck was all comforting as a pastor could be. She guessed. But she didn't want him to be that way. "Just think about how wonderful, everything is."

"But its not that wonderful." She wanted to scream, but she barely got it out over a whisper. "If this is ..is all there is."

"Nancy, you can't-you can't take care of yourself, right now. And its a blessing you have so much." He assured her.

"Yeah, of course, of course." She could keep saying that, again and again, and really it was just a line to say like clock work. Couldn't he tell she was miserable? Just miserable.

As soon as he took her hand, there in the livingroom, all alone, no where else to go, Nancy took it as a sign. A good sign. They'd just have to make do in the silence. She kissed him before he had a second to think about it. She didn't want him to think. Not now. Not this time.