Chris hated to go alone, but he was afraid to take Max with him just in case there was trouble.
"What are you doing here?" Ruby asked as soon as she opened the door to a place that might as well have been a barn.
"What are you doing here?" Chris was still in a state of shock that his sister who'd just graduated high school had moved in with....this guy. "Aren't you suppose to be getting ready for UT or something."
"I'm not going there." She looked at him as if that was past history.
"But you got a scholarship." Chris looked at her. "You got a 4 year scholarship?"
"I don't want to argue about it." She let him in and it was there he met Chuck who looked older than Ruby. Perhaps Chris' age. Her sister was suppose to date high school boys, not guys like Chuck.
"So how did you meet?" Chris decided he was getting no where with the other questions.
"A Bright Eyes concert." Ruby told him.
"Bright Eyes." Chris nodded, thinking of Dayton. They'd been to a few of those concerts together. "And you've been seeing each other-"
"A while, since Thanksgiving."
"But you didn't bring him to any Christmas stuff or you know-holiday-"
"When have you brought Max to anything?" That's when Ruby told Chuck about her brother being gay.
"Well, thanks for sharing that Ruby, but did you have to?" Chris looked at Ruby. He wasn't sure he wanted to look at Chuck.
"Do I have to share everything with you?" She scowled.
"Yes, I want you too." Chris looked at her hard and then said to Chuck, "Max and I have a daughter."
"So what about Dayton?" Chris wanted to know.
"What about him? We just found him out by the river, walking."
"Just walking?"
"Yeah, pretty much. He didn't say much about it. He just wanted me to tell you he'd been with me all this time." Ruby shrugged.
"Do you know who he was with?" Chris looked at both of them.
"Not really. But he looked pretty sorry about who ever he'd been with." Ruby told him.
16.7.09
14.7.09
on the mend
Seriously, Oliver didn't expect to see Dayton anytime soon. As it was Oliver was deep in the summer reading program. A shelver quit to go on a trip to the Peace Corp, and there were high stacks of books to be mended.
"He was our best book mender," he told Max. "At least he and Geoff are talking it out. It sounds pretty normal now."
"Well, he kept asking for you," Max told him while he'd brought Chloe to pajamma storytime. She could hardly keep still in the stroller. She wanted out of it and she wanted books.
"I wonder why?" Oliver shook his head. "Probably trying to put off the envitable. Dunno why he's that way. He adores Geoff. I think he banks on everything ending badly, you know."
"I guess that's possible. He even told Chris he'd been with his sister. Who in their right mind does that?" Max shrugged.
"Well, things are back to normal now. He's moved back in with Geoff and Nancy. Smooth sailing." Oliver smiled.
"Yeah, I'm sure its all smoothed out now." Max agreed.
"Is Chris all right?" Oliver was concerned.
"You know, him, he beats himself up about everything." Max told him. "He's still dead set on talking with his sister. She went back to the Indian Reservation."
"Why?"
"Chris is going to find out." Max informed him.
"Are you going with him?" Oliver wanted to know.
"I don't think so." Max winced.
"We could always keep Chloe, you know." Oliver shrugged. He had to get back to work, but he took a good long look at her. She was growing like a weed. She was about to give her pacifer up.
"You have your hands full as it is." Max smiled.
"But we want her to get know her cousins." Oliver touched the top of Chloe's head. Thinking this was about as close as he'd ever get to her.
"And how are those little blessings." He remarked.
"Almost sleeping through the night if Bex will let them." Oliver chuckled.
"He was our best book mender," he told Max. "At least he and Geoff are talking it out. It sounds pretty normal now."
"Well, he kept asking for you," Max told him while he'd brought Chloe to pajamma storytime. She could hardly keep still in the stroller. She wanted out of it and she wanted books.
"I wonder why?" Oliver shook his head. "Probably trying to put off the envitable. Dunno why he's that way. He adores Geoff. I think he banks on everything ending badly, you know."
"I guess that's possible. He even told Chris he'd been with his sister. Who in their right mind does that?" Max shrugged.
"Well, things are back to normal now. He's moved back in with Geoff and Nancy. Smooth sailing." Oliver smiled.
"Yeah, I'm sure its all smoothed out now." Max agreed.
"Is Chris all right?" Oliver was concerned.
"You know, him, he beats himself up about everything." Max told him. "He's still dead set on talking with his sister. She went back to the Indian Reservation."
"Why?"
"Chris is going to find out." Max informed him.
"Are you going with him?" Oliver wanted to know.
"I don't think so." Max winced.
"We could always keep Chloe, you know." Oliver shrugged. He had to get back to work, but he took a good long look at her. She was growing like a weed. She was about to give her pacifer up.
"You have your hands full as it is." Max smiled.
"But we want her to get know her cousins." Oliver touched the top of Chloe's head. Thinking this was about as close as he'd ever get to her.
"And how are those little blessings." He remarked.
"Almost sleeping through the night if Bex will let them." Oliver chuckled.
12.7.09
floating on
Dayton liked to think of the two of them, he and Geoff, in white somewhere floating across the water on a lazy day. Perhaps it was a raft, maybe a boat. It changed in his head from time to time. And it was just the two of them. Alone. It wasn't lonely, either.
And now when Geoff's hands came around his shoulder, he thought he might be healed. Maybe. It was possible because as much as he believed he'd fucked it all up. Everything. Even the goddamn job with the public service announcements... he let it melt away because he knew a part of him felt he was Geoff's.
He didn't try to think it the other way around. Although, Geoff always let him take as much as he wanted. It was always Geoff who was the responsible one.
"I promise I'll do better. I promise." The words were just there on his lips even now even if he'd cried real tears about it.
Geoff grinned as if they were just words. Maybe words he didn't trust. Maybe he didn't care. He got a nod out of him, and when they kissed it was a wake up moment for him of how far they'd came in this journey together, and it felt like an energy of its own. A huge weight off Dayton's shoulders that he could be who he really could be. Caring, nurturing, full of laughter. A human being.
"I don't ever think of you as the housewife though," Dayton said wondering if that was his job.
"I don't see you that way, either." It sounded like a promise to Dayton. It made him smile.
He knew he could tell Geoff all the things that he was that Geoff, already knew. What was the point?
Of course, Izzy came to mind, days later. Days that had gone by when they'd slumbered, and he'd watched Geoff shave and they'd played around and made up for all sorts of things they'd missed in one another. Couldn't he forget about it now? He wanted to forget her. That trip. That stupid moment of getting in the car with her.
Some things needed to be covered up, buried deep and yet if felt so lodged in his heart. He thought he might be dying sometimes when he'd wake in the middle of the night. It left him in a cold sweat.
"Maybe you need to get checked out?" Geoff told him on the third morning they were together.
"Why?" He was certain Geoff knew it already.
"I dunno." Geoff shrugged. "To stay healthy?"
"I feel just fine." Dayton didn't need this.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm very sure." Dayton lied. He hadn't had an out break in a very long time. Nothing could go wrong now, could it?
And now when Geoff's hands came around his shoulder, he thought he might be healed. Maybe. It was possible because as much as he believed he'd fucked it all up. Everything. Even the goddamn job with the public service announcements... he let it melt away because he knew a part of him felt he was Geoff's.
He didn't try to think it the other way around. Although, Geoff always let him take as much as he wanted. It was always Geoff who was the responsible one.
"I promise I'll do better. I promise." The words were just there on his lips even now even if he'd cried real tears about it.
Geoff grinned as if they were just words. Maybe words he didn't trust. Maybe he didn't care. He got a nod out of him, and when they kissed it was a wake up moment for him of how far they'd came in this journey together, and it felt like an energy of its own. A huge weight off Dayton's shoulders that he could be who he really could be. Caring, nurturing, full of laughter. A human being.
"I don't ever think of you as the housewife though," Dayton said wondering if that was his job.
"I don't see you that way, either." It sounded like a promise to Dayton. It made him smile.
He knew he could tell Geoff all the things that he was that Geoff, already knew. What was the point?
Of course, Izzy came to mind, days later. Days that had gone by when they'd slumbered, and he'd watched Geoff shave and they'd played around and made up for all sorts of things they'd missed in one another. Couldn't he forget about it now? He wanted to forget her. That trip. That stupid moment of getting in the car with her.
Some things needed to be covered up, buried deep and yet if felt so lodged in his heart. He thought he might be dying sometimes when he'd wake in the middle of the night. It left him in a cold sweat.
"Maybe you need to get checked out?" Geoff told him on the third morning they were together.
"Why?" He was certain Geoff knew it already.
"I dunno." Geoff shrugged. "To stay healthy?"
"I feel just fine." Dayton didn't need this.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm very sure." Dayton lied. He hadn't had an out break in a very long time. Nothing could go wrong now, could it?
10.7.09
innocent
You said everything
Let is show
Let it breathe
You know you make me sick
You've got your house
Your car
A big backyard
Don't state the obvious
Fall is on it's way
No more sunny days
It gets dark you know
Smoke your cigarette
Try not to forget
That you know
They make
You sick
Things never turn out
The way I want them to
But we're all
All born innocent
Take what you can
Take everything you need
But save some for me
Or save it for yourself
Write me a letter and explain
We're all born innocent
Yes we are
Your job is perfect as it was
I know you're not guilty here
You sit right down
Close your eyes, shut your mouth
Listen now
The conversation's done
So it's all down to money as it were
He was born
Born innocent
Things never turn out
The way I want them to
But we're all born
To this world
Things never turn out
The way I want them to
But we're all
All born innocent
Take what you can
Take everything you need
But save some for me
Or save it for yourself
Just save it for yourself
-aidan hawken
Max could have told Geoff that Dayton was in Alaska, and he would still gone alone. At least he had Max and Chris to stay with Nancy. He felt safe about leaving. This was something he had to do alone. Pick up Dayton.
They met at a truckstop. It was so hot and humid. It felt like a good day to jump in the river, but he didn't see that happening. Of course, Dayton kept hesitating, like maybe he didn't want to go with him. It was as if maybe he wanted to stay with Ruby, but she was with a pretty good sized Lakota-Sioux with silky black hair down to his waist, and he certainly wasn't bringing Dayton back to his place.
Finally, they were left on their own. Ruby went back to the reservation with Chuck.
"What are you going to do now, beat me up?" were the first words that came out of Dayton's mouth when he got in the truck.
"I was never going to beat you up," Geoff looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "I only held you down because I didn't know what was going on in that freak'n mind of yours. Didn't know if you were gonna hurt me or Nancy."
"Maybe I was just going to hurt myself." Dayton wouldn't look at him.
"Is that what this is about?" Geoff gave him a hard look then.
"No." Dayton winced but Geoff didn't quite believe him.
"Why didn't you call me?" Geoff started up his truck then, thinking they really needed to go somewhere to alone, but he really didn't know where. It just didn't feel right to take him to a cheap motel, especially, if all they were going to do was possibly scream at each other.
"I dunno. Maybe my battery is dead on my phone."
"I left you plenty of messages." Geoff told him.
"You did?" He looked over at him, but then looked away as soon had Geoff noticed.
"I was hoping we could have made up-"
"Maybe I don't want to." Dayton acted as if he might open the door right now and hop out while Geoff was going 70 miles an hour.
"You know, this isn't all about you." Geoff told him straight. "You're not the only one in the picture, you know. "
"I know. Nancy." Dayton sighed as if Geoff had been off having a honeymoon across the states with her.
"No. This isn't about Nancy."
Dayton gave him a wild look. Finally he blinked.
"Its the baby. The baby. There is a baby that needs a family. And you're gonna have to do your part sooner or latter. Do you understand me?" Geoff told him.
Dayton swelled a frown then. He didn't say a thing.
Let is show
Let it breathe
You know you make me sick
You've got your house
Your car
A big backyard
Don't state the obvious
Fall is on it's way
No more sunny days
It gets dark you know
Smoke your cigarette
Try not to forget
That you know
They make
You sick
Things never turn out
The way I want them to
But we're all
All born innocent
Take what you can
Take everything you need
But save some for me
Or save it for yourself
Write me a letter and explain
We're all born innocent
Yes we are
Your job is perfect as it was
I know you're not guilty here
You sit right down
Close your eyes, shut your mouth
Listen now
The conversation's done
So it's all down to money as it were
He was born
Born innocent
Things never turn out
The way I want them to
But we're all born
To this world
Things never turn out
The way I want them to
But we're all
All born innocent
Take what you can
Take everything you need
But save some for me
Or save it for yourself
Just save it for yourself
-aidan hawken
Max could have told Geoff that Dayton was in Alaska, and he would still gone alone. At least he had Max and Chris to stay with Nancy. He felt safe about leaving. This was something he had to do alone. Pick up Dayton.
They met at a truckstop. It was so hot and humid. It felt like a good day to jump in the river, but he didn't see that happening. Of course, Dayton kept hesitating, like maybe he didn't want to go with him. It was as if maybe he wanted to stay with Ruby, but she was with a pretty good sized Lakota-Sioux with silky black hair down to his waist, and he certainly wasn't bringing Dayton back to his place.
Finally, they were left on their own. Ruby went back to the reservation with Chuck.
"What are you going to do now, beat me up?" were the first words that came out of Dayton's mouth when he got in the truck.
"I was never going to beat you up," Geoff looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "I only held you down because I didn't know what was going on in that freak'n mind of yours. Didn't know if you were gonna hurt me or Nancy."
"Maybe I was just going to hurt myself." Dayton wouldn't look at him.
"Is that what this is about?" Geoff gave him a hard look then.
"No." Dayton winced but Geoff didn't quite believe him.
"Why didn't you call me?" Geoff started up his truck then, thinking they really needed to go somewhere to alone, but he really didn't know where. It just didn't feel right to take him to a cheap motel, especially, if all they were going to do was possibly scream at each other.
"I dunno. Maybe my battery is dead on my phone."
"I left you plenty of messages." Geoff told him.
"You did?" He looked over at him, but then looked away as soon had Geoff noticed.
"I was hoping we could have made up-"
"Maybe I don't want to." Dayton acted as if he might open the door right now and hop out while Geoff was going 70 miles an hour.
"You know, this isn't all about you." Geoff told him straight. "You're not the only one in the picture, you know. "
"I know. Nancy." Dayton sighed as if Geoff had been off having a honeymoon across the states with her.
"No. This isn't about Nancy."
Dayton gave him a wild look. Finally he blinked.
"Its the baby. The baby. There is a baby that needs a family. And you're gonna have to do your part sooner or latter. Do you understand me?" Geoff told him.
Dayton swelled a frown then. He didn't say a thing.
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