12.7.09

floating on

Dayton liked to think of the two of them, he and Geoff, in white somewhere floating across the water on a lazy day. Perhaps it was a raft, maybe a boat. It changed in his head from time to time. And it was just the two of them. Alone. It wasn't lonely, either.

And now when Geoff's hands came around his shoulder, he thought he might be healed. Maybe. It was possible because as much as he believed he'd fucked it all up. Everything. Even the goddamn job with the public service announcements... he let it melt away because he knew a part of him felt he was Geoff's.

He didn't try to think it the other way around. Although, Geoff always let him take as much as he wanted. It was always Geoff who was the responsible one.

"I promise I'll do better. I promise." The words were just there on his lips even now even if he'd cried real tears about it.

Geoff grinned as if they were just words. Maybe words he didn't trust. Maybe he didn't care. He got a nod out of him, and when they kissed it was a wake up moment for him of how far they'd came in this journey together, and it felt like an energy of its own. A huge weight off Dayton's shoulders that he could be who he really could be. Caring, nurturing, full of laughter. A human being.

"I don't ever think of you as the housewife though," Dayton said wondering if that was his job.

"I don't see you that way, either." It sounded like a promise to Dayton. It made him smile.

He knew he could tell Geoff all the things that he was that Geoff, already knew. What was the point?

Of course, Izzy came to mind, days later. Days that had gone by when they'd slumbered, and he'd watched Geoff shave and they'd played around and made up for all sorts of things they'd missed in one another. Couldn't he forget about it now? He wanted to forget her. That trip. That stupid moment of getting in the car with her.

Some things needed to be covered up, buried deep and yet if felt so lodged in his heart. He thought he might be dying sometimes when he'd wake in the middle of the night. It left him in a cold sweat.

"Maybe you need to get checked out?" Geoff told him on the third morning they were together.

"Why?" He was certain Geoff knew it already.

"I dunno." Geoff shrugged. "To stay healthy?"

"I feel just fine." Dayton didn't need this.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm very sure." Dayton lied. He hadn't had an out break in a very long time. Nothing could go wrong now, could it?

5 comments:

em said...

Oh cliffhanger, ha I like the houswife line.

the oaks said...

Interesting how far they've come and yet..another obstacle.

e.l. said...

I do hope Dayton is all right and didn't catch anything from Izzy.

simon n josh said...

so good. i loved it.

natalie said...

Awww :) I'm glad that they're able to sort of get things back to normal! Well, compared to before at least. But of course something has to come along and mess things up again... :P