You can never really start from the start
The ending begins inside of the heart
The people, they love to remember your name
It's a hospital bed but it's all just the same
Why did you leave when you will return?
Your past is your future, your future will learn
The crows that fly, we'll try not to find
Do things once, you know you'll do it twice
There was fresh coffee in the coffee maker when Dayton got up the next morning. He found himself a cup and had some in the kitchen. It was so quiet and calm. A lot like last night when he was with Geoff. Something had kind of happened. Yet not completely. Other than the fact that Dayton wanted more than Geoff had given him.
They'd kissed. Nothing said. Only he'd been the first to kiss Geoff, after all. And he hadn't expected that, somehow. Geoff had just given him a quick smile as if that had been an accident of some kind. As if Dayton had been delirious from the cold. But Geoff hadn't pushed him away. And the second time was slower and more of something to generate deeper kisses.
It felt to Dayton he'd let go of something that had been holding him down for so long. And even on this cold day with snow falling, it felt surprisingly good. He hoped. No thoughts of Bex and the baby. Not the slightest angst about Nancy and no outbreak. Maybe stress did have something to do with that.
Just then Geoff brought in a half dozen of eggs from the barn.
"You have chickens?" Dayton was curious.
"Mattie, Sadie and Geraldine." Geoff told him. "All that's left of my uncle's flock. I guess you could call them that. Don't know much about raising chickens. But they have plenty of straw. They seem to know what they're doing."
Geoff started breakfast then. Scrambled eggs and toast. Dayton just watched.
"So you're in all that whole foods organic stuff?" Dayton wondered at breakfast.
Geoff had a chuckle. "If I had the money for it, I'd do it. I never thought I'd get a subscription to Men's Health. Definitely, the best Christmas present I ever gave myself."
"What, you had Christmas all by yourself?" He guessed he should have expected that.
"Well, I'm pretty much alone," he shrugged. "I went out with some friends for dinner. It wasn't that big of a deal."
"Yeah, well, mine sucked. I was with all these fake people at Nancy's. My mom couldn't have dinner because she caught the flu, but then I found out from my sister they thought I was contagious and didn't even want me there. Wish I hadn't told her about the herpes."
"Banned for life. Or is that branded?" Geoff just had a laugh over it and went back to his toast and eggs. Afterwards Dayton washed the dishes.
"You about ready to go home yet?" Geoff asked with his final cup of coffee.
"Well, you best let her know what's going on," Geoff nodded.
"She won't care."
"She might." Geoff seemed sure of it.
"Why would she?" He dried dishes then and started to put them away. Except, Geoff had to show him where everything went.
"I don't know if she'd like the idea of you being here." Geoff leaned against the counter nursing his black coffee.
"She doesn't know anything." Dayton shook his head.
"Anything? As in-" Geoff gave him the option to finish the sentence.
"Its none of her business." Dayton winced.
"Just how involved are you with her?"
"So that's why you're holding back, you still think I'm with her?" Dayton face gave way a sign of disgust.
"No." Geoff shook his head. "All right. Part of it. But I've gone a long time with no one. All right. No one. So why should I put myself out there if-if its just something on the side."
Now he hit a nerve.
"What are you saying?" Dayton put a coffee cup away.
"Nothing." He put down his cup. "If you want to move in. Do it. We can get your stuff now. Don't just leave her in the dark."
"I-I don't know what I'm suppose to tell her."
"Obviously." Geoff walked out of the kitchen then.
"If I knew what you wanted-"
"You finish it with her. Who knows, you might want to go back to her. You might miss her."
"I'm not going to miss Nancy." Dayton told him. "I want to be with you."
"Why?" Geoff hugged himself then as if the answer better be right before he considered anything with Dayton.
"Because, it feels right with you, all right." He hated to say it.
"But you still can't say it." Geoff shook his head. "Because you don't believe it."