10.1.09

its just the beginning

Geoff's house was down a farm road. The city glistened behind a field. He parked his truck in the driveway.

"Well, this is it." Geoff sighed. "Its not much. Guess, it would have been better to come in the daylight."

"Yeah, that might help." Dayton said as little. The wind was gusting more now. Moisture was even falling.

"We don't have to go in." Geoff told him as he shut off the engine.

Dayton pressed his lips together. Not sure where it was going from here.

"I'm not really gay." Dayton said quickly as possible.

"All right. I get it." Geoff didn't say another word.

"I wouldn't know what to do." Dayton gritted then.

"All right. Not even a clue?"

"No." Dayton shook his head.

Geoff just smiled. "My first time was with my photography professor. He really liked college guys, actually. I'm beginning to think on it now, but it didn't really bother me at the time because he was such a mentor on so many levels. He had so many things at his house to do, and it was like everything was a lecture of some sort. I'm not saying a bad lecture. It was like learning life, you know. I don't think he was in love with anyone, though. It was a bit false. But still, I don't regret it," he looked out the corner of his eye at Dayton.

"I don't need to know this stuff." Dayton didn't like this sort of honest torture. There was no need for it.

"Right, how could I expect you to understand, you're not gay," Geoff smirked. "But when I fell in love, I thought it was very real. And I was naive because I thought he'd be somebody I could trust. He was so mature."

"How old? Like sixty or something?" Dayton frowned. This was making him sick. Maybe it was the chocolate milk.

"He wasn't quite that old, maybe forty, and he had money and bought me things. It was a nice life even if my parents disowned me. I didn't care. Didn't give a damn. I was at the University. He paid for that. And then he found someone when he went on vacation while I was still in class."
"Is that when you got herpes?" Dayton shot him a look then. Some old man had given him herpes. Shit.

"No, that was just some random thing at a disco." Geoff told him.

"Are you telling the truth?" He couldn't imagine Geoff at a disco.

"What? You've never had random sex with somebody?" Geoff shrugged.

"Never." Dayton winced. "I might have said I did something like that in high school. But it never happened. It was all talk. Most of it." Suddenly, he found himself confiding in Geoff. Maybe it was himself. " When I met Bex, I just knew she was the one. She might have thought I was someone else, and I thought she was the craziest chick I ever met. She was drunk and thought I was the lead singer from Bright Eyes. I dunno. It just happened. She was the best thing that ever happened to me." He paused then rubbing his arms. It was getting colder. " She's with some fuck'n gay guy now. He's really gay too. He looks like he could dress in women's clothes and no one would know he wasn't a chick."

"Chris is just a figment of your imagination?" Geoff then mentioned.

"I knew him a long time before anything ever happened between us. And we were just drunk. Really drunk. And it was different. A lot different than that stuff you're going on about." Dayton sighed as he looked away.

"Sounds exciting," Geoff turned on the engine then. "Sorry, I bored the hell out of you."

7 comments:

Cate said...

Like Heath, in Brokeback Mountain. 'I'm not a queer, you know.'
Hah, everyone Dayton gets to know seems to have herpes. Nancy, Geoff...
And this turned out differently than I had imagined. I like Geoff.

Liz said...

lol Cate's right, it does seem like that. Poor Dayton. xD

taffy. said...

Aww, Geoff's nice, though.
Hopefully, something happens.


And it's weird hearing Dayton talk about Bex like that.

what we needed said...

Dayton does make me smile when he reacts to Geoff's past the way he does, yet you feel bad for him too.

ellie said...

Dayton the way he talks. He's so himself about his whole attitude about Geoff. His standards. The way he feels about Bex and Oliver being together.

simon n josh said...

Aw..wonder where it'll go from here? I feel kind of bad for Geoff.

dawn said...

i guess dayton is in the painful place where he's just trying to figure out where he is on the map of sexuality. i've had so many gay friends of mine tell me how hard they struggled with that...never even coming to grips with it until they were even in the 30's sometimes. and sometimes they just had to sort out how gay they were...or how they wanted to live their life since they were bisexual....gay or straight....tough stuff. it can wound people..seriously. maybe dayton already is....

sorry you're so snowed and iced in out there...ack. i am so fortunate that i don't live in such harsh weather anymore. we can always count on a sunny warm day here and there...even in the winter.
i'll send you some sun!