let alone

Bex felt as if she was all thumbs or something when it came to the twins. She felt like a bumbling idiot, half the time.

"Maybe something is wrong with me," she said not long after they were home while they had plenty of help in the house. Chris' sisters were there nonstop and pretty much angels when it came to keeping babies content. At least Bex got some rest. She'd hoped Oliver would too, but he was rather hyper these days.

He'd decided to paint a mural in the church baptistry.

"I don't know where he gets all this energy." Bex couldn't explain it to Nancy who seemed to envy that Bex had so much help.

"Well, you have Geoff and Dayton. I'm sure they'll step up once the time comes." Bex reminded her and Nancy had the whole itinerary mapped out as it was. There was the date not long off for the arrival for the baby. It was well planned for her to have a c-section. She was sad about that still.

"Don't knock it," Bex told her. "You should be glad you've got it so well planned."

"Not exactly a wedding." She huffed. Her parents still didn't understand why Dayton wouldn't marry her.

"You didn't tell them about him and Geoff?"

"No." She winced. "That would stupid."

"It would be honest." Bex looked at her. "You shouldn't be playing games about this. Leading them on that everything is so right with you and Dayton when you know far from the truth that its now. He still doesn't think its his baby."

"As if he'd believe it if they gave him a piece of paper." She didn't want to talk about it and Bex was sorry she'd brought it up.

"I'm sure it'll all turn out all right. It might be unconventional, but I'm sure Geoff will make it work."

Nancy just nodded. "I wish he had twin or something. You know, where I could have my Geoff and Dayton could have his. It would be so much easier."

"Well, you two certainly aren't making it easy on Geoff." Bex wanted to tell her they both needed to grow up, but then again, Nancy and Dayton were far better now than they used to be, she guessed. It was still hard to be her friend. Even harder to be friends with Dayton. It was impossible. But then Bex was trying to grow up herself. And yet, she felt so fragile. In a state of evolving emotions.

She so wanted to be a good mother, but could she, really? She'd never know until she was actually alone with her children.